Folkpartiet versus Puiblic Enemies No. 1 - 100,000

Johan Pehrsson (FP) puts an end to soccer hooliganism

Stockholm, Sweden--
A soccer derby between Hammarby and Djurgarden was abandoned after both sets of fans disgraced themselves Monday evening. This showdown of evil, this eruption of violent hooliganism has caused Folkpartiet's chief crime-fighter Johan Pehrsson to take action.

Folkpartiet's Johan PehrssonPhoto: Pressens bild - It's a tragedy that soccer-lovers should have to witness how criminal hooligans turn a stadium into a battlefield, Pehrsson laments in a press release. But counter-terror expert Pehrsson wouldn't be counter-terror expert Pehrsson if he didn't have a plan.

And a plan he has. Pehrsson wants closer cooperation between soccer clubs and the Police on blacklisting suspected hooligans. He's also proposing the possibility to ban people below the age of 15 from arenas, if Police suspects that they 'dwell in hooligan surroundings', which a lot of soccer fans actually do.

However, most of the job is already done. Pehrsson is working on the final details of 'Folkpartiet's counter-terrorism package', a program that will be versatile in the fight soccer holiganism as well as anything.

Bugging popular Hooligan Hangouts like Kvarnen on Soedermalm, as well as monitoring emails and text messages, can give a lot of useful information on when and where to strike against the 'Al-Qaeda of the green field'. Letting Police cooperate with Military forces is another great way of immobilizing large mobs. If and when Sweden joins the war on terror for real, football hooligans could also be deported to the planned Gotmo prison camp on Gotland. Remember that terrorists come in all shapes. Some have towels on their heads, some have scarves in team colors around their necks.

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